The Family Center of Knoxville
The Family Center of Knoxville
  • Home
  • Psychological Services
  • Bio
  • Therapy Expectations
  • Contact and Directions
  • Psychology Blog
  • Forms
  • Resources

Clinical Commentary: The secret to happiness is...

9/26/2013

2 Comments

 
According to Seligman, Steen & Peterman (2005), the secret to happiness isn’t money, adventure, or love; it’s expression of gratitude. If you want to read the study or view a creative summary and twist to the study, check out this Upworthy.com video by clicking here.

If you don’t want to read or watch, I’ll do a quick summary. Basically, it was found that people are happier when they express gratitude, and even happier if they are able to express gratitude directly to the person. The largest increases in happiness were found in those who initially reported the lowest levels of happiness.

This makes sense, right? Expressing gratitude means that you are polite, thoughtful, and respectful. Anyone would think these are characteristics of a well-adjusted, happy person. The catch is that there were people who initially expressed low levels of happiness, but their happiness increased significantly after expressing gratitude verbally and directly to another. Why?

Well, I think the answer lies in the process of expressing gratitude. One of my mentors always said, “It’s the process, not the content,” during our supervision sessions. It took me a while to understand what he meant, and I think it applies here (Thanks, Jeff). I’ll write about “the process” more in the coming weeks.

The process of expressing gratitude is powerful and intimate, more so than most people realize. It’s one thing to say “thanks”, it’s another thing to expound on that “thanks” and express how someone has really helped you as a person. Expressing gratitude opens your emotional world to another. That can make anyone feel vulnerable.

Why would someone feel vulnerable?

Two reasons why someone might feel vulnerable are: 1) the possibility of being hurt/exploited/criticized and 2) the possibility of actually emotionally connecting with another person in a healthy way. The latter is what happens with gratitude. When you express gratitude, you are saying, “I really appreciate you and the positive impact you have had on my life.” It may feel uncomfortable, but it feels good to make another person feel good, at least according to this study.

Why does any of this matter?

Well it matters quite a bit, certainly in therapy. My standard approach to working with a depressed individual is maintaining and increasing positive experiences (click here to read more about my approach). However, “positive experiences” are usually defined by actions that bring you joy: a hobby, lunch with a friend, something that makes you feel good. This study adds the twist of making someone else feel good by expressing gratitude. It will certainly add to my approach and hopefully yours.

If you are having a down day (or even a great day), express gratitude to someone. Test the idea out. See what it's like to send an email versus a phone call. If you're really brave, share your gratitude in person. You might be pleasantly surprised by how good it feels.

As usual, feel free to share this post via facebook, twitter, etc. Comments are welcomed!

If you are interested in being notified of future posts, you can “like” The Family Center of Knoxville facebook group by clicking here. Thanks for your support!

2 Comments
Matt Rudge
9/7/2024 04:33:15 am

My wife and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from her and a few weeks later I found out that my wife is seeing someone else. She started coming home late from work, she hardly cares about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes she goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail, I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Odunga can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and He can also cure diseases like HIV, AIDS, Herpes Virus, Cancer, E.T.C.. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family and I are living together happily again. All thanks to Dr. Odunga. If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you.
Email him at : [email protected] or contact him via Whats App +2348167159012.

Reply
Michael Raymond
11/13/2024 06:00:09 am

I want to share my experience about how I got My Wife Back. After three years of a broken marriage, My Wife left me with our two kids. We were constantly quarreling and struggling, which ultimately led to a serious breakup. My wife packed her things and moved away. Despite this, I was determined to reunite with her. But I was told by a reliable source, a very close co-worker, that Dr Kachi is a very dedicated, gifted and talented person, Then I met Dr. Kachi, a remarkable spell caster, who assured me that my wife would return within 24 hours after he prepared a love spell. I’m thrilled to say that Dr. Kachi kept his word! My Wife came back home, fell to her knees, and begged for my forgiveness. Today, our family is back together, and we are happy, healthy, and living together again. Dr. Kachi made my dreams come true by helping us reunite. If you need his assistance, divorce issues in your relationship you can contact him Text or Call at +1 (209) 893-8075, or visit his website at https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email him at [email protected]

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Salmaan Toor is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Knoxville, TN.

    Archives

    November 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    Answer
    Child Psychologist
    Clinical Commentary
    Clinical Psychologist
    Depression
    General
    Kids
    Knoxville
    Love
    Marriage
    Parenting
    Premarital Counseling
    Question
    Relationships
    Salmaan Toor
    Teens
    Therapy
    World

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.