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What happens in therapy?

10/4/2013

3 Comments

 
One of the first questions someone asks when they come for therapy is, "How long is this going to take?" It's a interesting moment as there really isn't an answer. For a lot of people, this is where setting goals is important. It's a way for people to track progress. It's measurable. Am I less depressed? Do I have more friends? Have I been better at coping with daily stress?

These questions are ways to assess the frequency of presenting symptoms (e.g., feeling sad, lacking energy, discomfort in social situations). The symptoms are what bring people to therapy. However, the cure for symptoms is examining the root causes. Getting to the root of a problem is complex, and it's the reason why it's difficult to answer, "How long is this going to take?" In my work, successful therapy is defined by attaining 3 goals.

Increased awareness of the self.

Before making real changes in your life, you have to better understand what changes need to happen. Part of that process is better understanding you. Everyone has their own behavioral patterns, relationship tendencies, stress management preferences, and a style in relating to others. Therapy helps the person gain insight into personal patterns.

Increased awareness of the other.

It's great to know why you do the things that you do, but life doesn't exist in a vacuum. Your behavior has an impact on others. The next step after increasing awareness of your behavior is making the connection to how your actions affect others. I'm talking about empathy again. I've written extensively about empathy, read a more detailed description here.

Understanding relationships.

Seems natural. Gain awareness of yourself and others and you'll be good to go with relationships. Right? Not necessarily. Relationships are Gestalt-like, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Understanding relationships is more than understanding yourself and the other. Relationships are a source for psychological well-being. Unhealthy relationships are usually associated with increased stress and psychological problems, whereas those with healthy relationships tend to be happier and more confident. For a more in depth read on relationships, click here.

Increased awareness will inevitably lead to a decrease in presenting symptoms, which is what most people want. However, increased awareness leads to a fundamental change in our core self, which is what most people need.

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3 Comments
Matt Rudge
9/7/2024 04:33:50 am

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Reply
Matt Rudge
9/7/2024 04:33:59 am

My wife and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from her and a few weeks later I found out that my wife is seeing someone else. She started coming home late from work, she hardly cares about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes she goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail, I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Odunga can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and He can also cure diseases like HIV, AIDS, Herpes Virus, Cancer, E.T.C.. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family and I are living together happily again. All thanks to Dr. Odunga. If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you.
Email him at : [email protected] or contact him via Whats App +2348167159012.

Reply
Michael Raymond
11/13/2024 06:54:12 am

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Reply



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    Salmaan Toor is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Knoxville, TN.

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